Things Successful People Do When Feeling Helpless
We often think of successful people as always confident, calm, and in control. But just like anyone else, they experience moments of helplessness and uncertainty. What differentiates them is their approach to managing these feelings. Let’s explore what successful people tend to do when they feel helpless, and how these strategies can help anyone turn challenging emotions into an opportunity for growth and clarity.
1. Acknowledge the Feeling, but Don’t Dwell on It
The first thing successful people do when they feel helpless is to acknowledge the emotion without allowing it to dominate their mindset. This involves recognizing the feeling without judgment and accepting that it's a natural human response. Successful people don’t ignore or repress these feelings but see them as a signal that something needs to change.
This approach is a form of self-compassion, which helps them avoid the trap of rumination and allows them to move forward more effectively.
When Serena Williams faced a difficult health crisis after giving birth in 2017, she acknowledged her frustration and fears but didn’t let them keep her from recovering and returning to tennis. By accepting her feelings and focusing on her health without fixating on her emotions, she returned to the court and reached several Grand Slam finals post-recovery.
2. Break Down Big Problems into Small, Manageable Steps
A feeling of helplessness often arises when faced with overwhelming situations or big challenges. Successful people counteract this by breaking down the issue into smaller, manageable steps. They focus on what they can control, even if it's just one small action. This helps them gain momentum, which reduces the feeling of helplessness and instills a sense of progress.
When SpaceX was on the brink of bankruptcy after multiple failed rocket launches, Elon Musk broke down the problem by focusing on one successful launch. By narrowing the scope and focusing on a successful Falcon 1 mission, he saved the company, which eventually secured a NASA contract and grew into a leading private space exploration company.
3. Seek Perspective
Successful people often seek perspective when feeling helpless. This might involve reaching out to mentors, friends, or colleagues for advice or simply taking a step back to evaluate the situation objectively. Seeing a problem from a different angle can provide new solutions or, at the very least, remind them that challenges are temporary.
Additionally, they may remind themselves of past situations when they felt similarly and successfully overcame them, reinforcing their confidence.
Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks
sought perspective and advice from mentors and family during a challenging phase in 2008 when Starbucks faced financial struggles. By consulting with others and evaluating options from different angles, he made decisions that turned the company around, emphasizing customer experience and quality.
4. Reframe Negative Thoughts
It’s common to fall into negative thinking when feeling helpless, but successful people work to reframe these thoughts. Instead of seeing challenges as roadblocks, they view them as learning opportunities or stepping stones toward their goals. Reframing involves looking for potential positives, like lessons they might learn or new skills they could acquire.
This shift in perspective not only helps them manage stress but also transforms helplessness into a sense of possibility.
When J.K. Rowling was struggling financially and facing multiple rejections of her Harry Potter manuscript, she reframed her situation, seeing each rejection as a step closer to success. This perspective enabled her to persevere, eventually leading to a publishing deal and one of the most successful book series in history.
5. Take Care of Their Physical Well-Being
Emotional states are closely tied to physical health. Successful people understand the power of physical well-being in managing stress and helplessness. They might take a break to exercise, practice deep breathing, or even get a good night’s sleep to clear their mind. Exercise, in particular, is known to release endorphins, which naturally improve mood and boost resilience.
This habit ensures that their bodies and minds are in sync, enabling them to think more clearly and maintain energy levels that aid problem-solving.
Arianna Huffington
After collapsing from exhaustion in 2007, Arianna Huffington realized the importance of health and wellness. She took steps to improve her physical well-being, including prioritizing sleep, which helped her handle the pressures of her career. Her experience led her to create Thrive Global, a platform focused on health and wellness.
6. Focus on the “Why” Behind Their Goals
Successful people tend to be deeply connected to their purpose, and this can act as an anchor during moments of helplessness. By reconnecting with the “why” behind their goals, they remind themselves of the bigger picture and the impact they want to make. This helps reignite their motivation and gives them the strength to push through challenging times.
This sense of purpose is often what allows them to weather setbacks and maintain a positive outlook, even in uncertain circumstances.
Malala Yousafzai
Despite feeling fear and helplessness after being attacked by the Taliban, Malala Yousafzai focused on her “why”—advocating for girls' education. This commitment to her purpose helped her overcome adversity and become a global icon for education and peace.
7. Embrace a Growth Mindset
Helplessness can make us feel “stuck” or unable to change the situation. Successful people counteract this by embracing a growth mindset — the belief that they can learn and grow from every experience. Instead of focusing on the limits of their current abilities, they ask themselves what they can learn from the situation.
This mindset helps them stay open to new possibilities and reinforces their confidence in their ability to handle adversity.
Thomas Edison
When inventing the light bulb, Thomas Edison reportedly failed thousands of times before finding the right filament. Instead of seeing his failures as setbacks, he reframed each attempt as an opportunity to learn what didn’t work. His growth mindset ultimately led to one of the most transformative inventions in history.
8. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting focus away from what’s going wrong to what’s still going right. Successful people often practice gratitude regularly, especially during challenging times. By focusing on the positive aspects of their lives, they lift their mood, increase resilience, and gain a sense of perspective.
This doesn’t mean ignoring problems, but rather balancing the challenges with recognition of the good. A simple exercise, like writing down three things they’re grateful for each day, can help cultivate this mindset.
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey has spoken extensively about the importance of gratitude in her life, particularly during difficult times. She kept a gratitude journal, which helped her maintain a positive perspective and resilience even during career and personal challenges, including overcoming childhood trauma and discrimination.
9. Take Calculated Action
When feeling helpless, successful people avoid impulsive decisions and instead take calculated action. They assess their options, weigh the risks, and make a plan before moving forward. This approach helps them regain a sense of control and ensures that their response to helplessness is thoughtful and intentional.
Taking action, no matter how small, is often enough to shift their mindset from helplessness to empowerment.
Jeff Bezos
When Jeff Bezos faced criticism and financial challenges with Amazon in its early years, he took calculated action by expanding carefully and reinvesting profits back into the business rather than rushing for quick profits. This deliberate approach helped Amazon grow into the giant it is today without risking its long-term vision.
10. Reflect and Learn from the Experience
Finally, successful people see challenges as opportunities to grow. Once they’ve worked through a situation, they take the time to reflect on what they’ve learned. They ask themselves questions like, “What did this experience teach me?” and “How can I apply this lesson in the future?”
This habit not only helps them move forward with more insight and self-awareness but also ensures they’re better prepared for similar situations in the future.
Walt Disney
After several failures, including his first animation studio going bankrupt, Walt Disney reflected on his experiences and learned what went wrong. He used these lessons to build the foundation of The Walt Disney Company, with a renewed focus on storytelling and creativity that eventually changed the entertainment industry.
Feeling helpless is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to be paralyzing. By adopting some of the habits that successful people use to manage helplessness, you can transform these moments into opportunities for growth and resilience. Whether it’s breaking down problems into manageable steps, focusing on gratitude, or reconnecting with your purpose, there are ways to navigate helplessness with strength and clarity.